Rabu, 31 Juli 2013

These Got to Have Answers


It’s first August! I don’t have anything in mind to tell but I think it’s been awhile since I posted. I don’t have many things to do in this Ramadhan because I just stay at home. And because I didn’t go to my hometown, so I’m kinda homesick this days as it’s D-8. So sad

Anyway, I’ve been freaked out these 2 days after watching a horror movie. You know, I never in such a sucks state like this before. I mean I actually freaked out a lot when I was child but as time goes by I don’t think I’m still a coward. What made me acted like a coward (again) was because, I think, after watching that movie which I could tell it set up in a house. And I thought about my room. Suddenly, I felt like what happened in my room when I’m not around or when I go to bed alone. It scared me to death. It’s also because nobody’s in house right now. I mean it’s not that we don’t have anyone in the house but usually we had 7 members. But my bro and sis went to our hometown to visit our grandma till Ied’. My dad went to Umroh so there are 4 members which is left me, my mom, and my 2 siblings. Those children and my mom sleep in a bedroom. Guess, I’m alone in my room. Thinking of it makes me scared. I don’t know why but I have stayed in my room alone for over 3 years and I’ve never been this coward before.

You know, yesterday, when my mom went to company the children to school, I was left alone in house. I have through it a lot. I mean, I used to it. Besides there are neighbors around the house. But, yesterday, after my mom left, it started to rain heavy and I was like I couldn’t go anywhere but stayed in my room. Doing something that could make me busy and stop thinking there is something outta my room. I was kinda spamming twitter for no reason just to keep myself busy. I hate this so much.

I don’t mean to tell that I’m such coward. I swear it never happened since yeaaaarrsss ago. But, I think it’s not because I was really afraid. It’s because I sent a strong suggestion to my mind that time, after watching movie. About something terrible. So, after I got home, I thought a lot the scenes of the movie and imagined as it happened in my house. Sucks me, I scared to went to the bathroom and sleep alone. The problem is, I have a bad habit. I imagined a lot and I believe too hard in it. It’s like a suggestion, like I told before, and I think it might be true. It indeed what I scared of. I told ya, it happens a lot in daily life. As I think about something, whatever in the case, and that feeling or intuition surprisingly becomes true. A lot. Not only for once or twice. It might happens almost everyday. Like a sudden thought of warn from my mind. And without knowing it, it becomes true. Last night I was thinking, what happen if my lil sister wants to follow my mom to company my brother tomorrow. It means I will be alone in house and I can’t go to bed after that -_-. You know, it happened this morning. Suddenly, my lil sister who was sleeping, woke up and asked my mom to go along with her.

In this case, I just can’t stop thinking what happens with my mind. It doesn’t work with all cases but I should underline it, whenever it comes to a lil or sudden thought and I say I have a feeling for it and it WILL happen. Like I said a lot. I don’t know why. I’m not talking about thing “BAROKAH” like pink brown ranger always talks about. This is a real talk. It happens way before ‘BAROKAH’ thing. I told my sister a lot about it and I just can’t divide it into a strong intuition or I just like to believe in negative thinks. Because it doesn’t always happens when I want it. I mean, for a good reasons. Like, I’ve been wanting something and I try to believe it will happens but it’s not. You got it, huh?

Anyway, I wonder how people live they dream. I saw a lot of people live they dream and I just wait for my turn. I mean, I know they struggle a lot before they got what they dream. Honestly, I really want to be one of them. You know these days, you can see people on youtube showing up their skills. And in months or years you can see them in media. Television, radio, magazine or anything. How great it feels! And I just, wow! Those dreams are true. What I want is my dreams to be true too. People say, you gotta dream and act. I know what I dream. I know how to act. One thing that I don’t know yet. How to start. That’s one of my problems. I don’t want to end up watching people grow and leave me behind. But I swear I don’t know how to start it. I wish I can find a way someday. Never give up though.

Skip the topic, I have watched the trailer of Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters and I was like “WHOAA, MY HERO! CAN’T WAIT! HYPED! SWAG!” I think it will be cooler that the first movie. I wish. Because I expected a lot in the first movie but it didn’t come out well as the readers imagine I bet. So, I wish this time, they make it more epic. And also, I remind me the 4th books of The Heroes of Olympus Series will be released in 2 months. It makes me more excited than anything. Can’t wait to launch it.

Today’s question. Does first love always happen as one-sided love? Because I saw a lot and it’s kinda true. If you know, then tell me is it true or not.

Have a great day. Black Ranger’s here

Row Low and Be You :)


Senin, 29 Juli 2013

LIFESAVER







Senin, 15 Juli 2013

Its name is CHANGE

This time, I wasyour hands up, and Never Say Never... waiting for breakfasting and I opened an old video folder. As I get bored and I wondered watching old videos could be fun. Then I found some video collections of Justin Bieber. Feeling so long time ago when I was a BIG fan of him.

Put your hands up, and Never Say Never…

Justin Bieber, the who taught me to say so. Almost for years and I still know him named as Justin Bieber. But, why the feeling so different then the last time I call him to the top of my lungs? Don’t misunderstand me. This is not a fan post like I used to write. Yup, years ago I used to write things about Justin here. How I never get enough of him, I love him, and I crazy over him. Everything seemed real back then. How about now? Times by times I don’t mention his name anymore in this blog. Did I stop to be his number 1 fan?

The answer is; time goes by. Justin changed. He is not Justin Bieber with the golden-high-pitch-voice, the innocent, the young fun boy, and the god flip hair anymore. He is Justin Bieber with mature look and complicated life on-screen. This lovely-boy transformed into a kinda-bad-boy in every entertainment news. He always showed up as the most Hate Artist in USA. What happened? Did Justin change or it is just people couldn’t see him change? Me, as a-no-longer-big-fan and others former fan might say we don’t like him change. His looks became horrible if I could say. He wears pants under his butt. Eww. His mind must be around somewhere. Is it a good style to keep as an idol of teenagers? You want us to shout at you that you are so hot? Oh my gosh. Even when I thought back then, when I sign as a fan of him, I never thought my superhero would turn into this. His daily-life or love-life become scandal. This is not-so-Justin that I used to know.

Once again, don’t misunderstand me. This not a fan or haters post. So, after saw every change of Justin, did I become a haters? No. I still read news about him. I still like his photos (if it makes sense) on facebook. I stiil turn my head whenever I heard his name called. But, this time, I don’t announce me as BIG fan anymore. Why? Because he change? It would be my first reason to cover up the real reason. Because I do change. I crazy over him when I was teen. Now, I’m about to 20 and it must made any difference to years ago. I don’t have much time to adore-to-death someone as I used to.

The answer of the question is people do change, and not all of them could accept it. Do people know Justin is a normal boy? He did whatever boys do in their age. He is not doing wrong. His behavior is just like the others teenager. What make it looks wrong is he is on the spotlight. People watch and criticism. But they don’t know Justin likes to pranks since he was younger. People probably don’t know when we are getting older, our voice change, our desire change. Maybe, Justin and I didn’t change. We just grow up. No matter, to be wiser or not. It is up to the person. Now, I’m telling not to comment on the others before you figure out who you are. I believe everyone grow up. Everyone changes. The important point is, no matter what people say, you still recognize what the center of yours. Doesn’t matter how much you change, you know who you are.

What I see is Justin change but he still #Believe. He lives his dream up till now. And what I remember of him is he was courage me to do my things. Justin taught me to say Never Say Never. And it will never change.
I don’t speak about Justin. I speak about how we should see at a situation. One thing, see something objective, not subjective. It will change on how you judge. Nobody knows what is wrong and right. Wrong or right decide by each perspective. So, do not fail what you see. Don’t see things with bare eyes. Think before do and talk. Respect others business. Whatever your name, you'll be free to change and grow up


Everyone’s dreaming. I was dreaming with Justin Bieber J


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