It’s first August! I don’t have anything in mind to tell but I think it’s been awhile since I posted. I don’t have many things to do in this Ramadhan because I just stay at home. And because I didn’t go to my hometown, so I’m kinda homesick this days as it’s D-8. So sad
Anyway, I’ve been freaked out these 2 days after watching a horror movie. You know, I never in such a sucks state like this before. I mean I actually freaked out a lot when I was child but as time goes by I don’t think I’m still a coward. What made me acted like a coward (again) was because, I think, after watching that movie which I could tell it set up in a house. And I thought about my room. Suddenly, I felt like what happened in my room when I’m not around or when I go to bed alone. It scared me to death. It’s also because nobody’s in house right now. I mean it’s not that we don’t have anyone in the house but usually we had 7 members. But my bro and sis went to our hometown to visit our grandma till Ied’. My dad went to Umroh so there are 4 members which is left me, my mom, and my 2 siblings. Those children and my mom sleep in a bedroom. Guess, I’m alone in my room. Thinking of it makes me scared. I don’t know why but I have stayed in my room alone for over 3 years and I’ve never been this coward before.
You know, yesterday, when my mom went to company the children to school, I was left alone in house. I have through it a lot. I mean, I used to it. Besides there are neighbors around the house. But, yesterday, after my mom left, it started to rain heavy and I was like I couldn’t go anywhere but stayed in my room. Doing something that could make me busy and stop thinking there is something outta my room. I was kinda spamming twitter for no reason just to keep myself busy. I hate this so much.
I don’t mean to tell that I’m such coward. I swear it never happened since yeaaaarrsss ago. But, I think it’s not because I was really afraid. It’s because I sent a strong suggestion to my mind that time, after watching movie. About something terrible. So, after I got home, I thought a lot the scenes of the movie and imagined as it happened in my house. Sucks me, I scared to went to the bathroom and sleep alone. The problem is, I have a bad habit. I imagined a lot and I believe too hard in it. It’s like a suggestion, like I told before, and I think it might be true. It indeed what I scared of. I told ya, it happens a lot in daily life. As I think about something, whatever in the case, and that feeling or intuition surprisingly becomes true. A lot. Not only for once or twice. It might happens almost everyday. Like a sudden thought of warn from my mind. And without knowing it, it becomes true. Last night I was thinking, what happen if my lil sister wants to follow my mom to company my brother tomorrow. It means I will be alone in house and I can’t go to bed after that -_-. You know, it happened this morning. Suddenly, my lil sister who was sleeping, woke up and asked my mom to go along with her.
In this case, I just can’t stop thinking what happens with my mind. It doesn’t work with all cases but I should underline it, whenever it comes to a lil or sudden thought and I say I have a feeling for it and it WILL happen. Like I said a lot. I don’t know why. I’m not talking about thing “BAROKAH” like pink brown ranger always talks about. This is a real talk. It happens way before ‘BAROKAH’ thing. I told my sister a lot about it and I just can’t divide it into a strong intuition or I just like to believe in negative thinks. Because it doesn’t always happens when I want it. I mean, for a good reasons. Like, I’ve been wanting something and I try to believe it will happens but it’s not. You got it, huh?
Anyway, I wonder how people live they dream. I saw a lot of people live they dream and I just wait for my turn. I mean, I know they struggle a lot before they got what they dream. Honestly, I really want to be one of them. You know these days, you can see people on youtube showing up their skills. And in months or years you can see them in media. Television, radio, magazine or anything. How great it feels! And I just, wow! Those dreams are true. What I want is my dreams to be true too. People say, you gotta dream and act. I know what I dream. I know how to act. One thing that I don’t know yet. How to start. That’s one of my problems. I don’t want to end up watching people grow and leave me behind. But I swear I don’t know how to start it. I wish I can find a way someday. Never give up though.
Skip the topic, I have watched the trailer of Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters and I was like “WHOAA, MY HERO! CAN’T WAIT! HYPED! SWAG!” I think it will be cooler that the first movie. I wish. Because I expected a lot in the first movie but it didn’t come out well as the readers imagine I bet. So, I wish this time, they make it more epic. And also, I remind me the 4th books of The Heroes of Olympus Series will be released in 2 months. It makes me more excited than anything. Can’t wait to launch it.
Today’s question. Does first love always happen as one-sided love? Because I saw a lot and it’s kinda true. If you know, then tell me is it true or not.
Have a great day. Black Ranger’s here
Row Low and Be You :)
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